Coming Out

This may or may not be a surprise to almost everyone reading this, but about two years ago I started coming to terms with something that had been fighting and trying to ignore my entire life. It was not an easy road to get here.

I am transgendered. (If this is a surprise to you, I mean male to female transgendered.)

This is not a new thing by any means. I’ve had some really awkward times in the last ten years as I’ve gotten more and more active in the furry community. It seems that almost everyone I deal with on a purely text basis had been assuming I was born female and when we’d meet in real life for the first time they were all “Wait, YOU’RE Bunny??”

Even when I was still using a male avatar in Second Life this happened. One year at RCFM I had a really weird conversation with someone that assumed I was a female in real life but using a male avatar in Second Life for some reason. It took some convincing to prove to him that I am actually who I said I am. 🙂 (I guess even when I was trying to be male I sucked at it!)

I’ve been in therapy for a while now struggling with this.

Coming out has been both interesting and oddly rewarding. I started coming out to my closest friends first. Every conversation I had with them went like this: “Bunny, stop. You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know. I just didn’t want to bring it up. I didn’t know if you wanted to hear it or not.” (This worked great, by the way. It gave me a feeling as if a large weight had been lifted off my shoulders!)

My family has been mixed but okay. My folks are accepting but not really all that supportive. (But honestly, this is the best I could have hoped for, I think.) My sister was like “about time you came out!” and my brother was clueless, but we’ve never been all that close. I have not been disowned or anything like that, so that’s good.

Work was… well… I just dodged a bullet and changed jobs. 🙂 (More on that later.)

And my friends, of course, have been amazing. I feel closer to them now than ever before.

To answer the question I’m sure you’re wondering now… yes, I live full time as a female. I went full time Nov 9th, 2013. I have not yet legally changed my name but I will very soon. I only go by my new name these days, so that’s a bit of a conflict I need to address.

Getting zapped with a laser on your face is like the worse pain ever.

I’ve been working with a vocal coach on my voice. I’ll be working at this for years, I had a fairly deep voice.

I’m doing this all out of order. I’ve gone full time and live and identify as a female all of the time, but I haven’t started HRT yet. I hope to correct that soon. My therapist and I had a bit of a disagreement over this, and in the end I figured that he was most likely right and I decided to go slow. I don’t recommend doing it this way, but it’s the path I took. 🙂

And yes, I hope there is surgery in my future at some point. It’s expensive and usually not covered by insurance, so sadly it’s most likely a looong ways away. 😦

So there. Hey everyone, I’m a girl. Duuuuuh. 🙂

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